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I’m Sorry Instructions for Kids (and Grown-Ups)
22 April 2014
Allison read A Better Way to Say Sorry on JoEllen’s cuppacocoa blog and appreciated specific instructions for helping kids (and grown-ups) to apologize sincerely.
Tags: allison read, communication, conflict
A couple of weeks ago I started seeing A Better Way to Say Sorry popping up in my friends’ Facebook posts. Parents everywhere seemed pretty excited about JoEllen’s guidelines for helping kids move from grudging, forced apologies to genuine “I’m sorry” moments that might actually lead to forgiveness, reconciliation, and improved relationships. Here are the questions she taught her elementary school students to answer:
- I’m sorry for…
- This is wrong because…
- In the future, I will…
- Will you forgive me?
She provides excellent examples of how to answer these questions as well as inspiring stories about how the kids eventually integrated the approach into their normal interactions with each other, with her, and even with other kids and teachers outside of her classroom when she wasn't around. I quickly found myself thinking, “These questions aren’t just for kids. They’re for everyone.”
Imagine if the next time one of your teammates who tends to dominate meetings came to your office the next day and said, “I’m sorry for talking so much during the meeting yesterday. I know that my need to brainstorm with the group is often one-sided and means that others don’t have as much of an opportunity to participate. In the future, I’ll talk less and ask more questions. Will you forgive me for not respecting everyone’s time and opinions?”
Now you may be thinking, “Should we ask for forgiveness at work?” Perhaps dominating a meeting isn’t as serious as a personal affront which definitely needs forgiveness if we’re going to work toward reconciliation. However, I hope you’ll think about how asking for and granting forgiveness might change our professional relationships.
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