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How to Get More Comfortable in Front of a Crowd

11 February 2025

Barbara read How to Speak in Public by Adam Bryant in The New York Times and remembered the fun she used to have when public speaking was a regular part of her life.

Tags: barbara read, communication

Adam Bryant gives wonderful, detailed advice for how to get comfortable enough when speaking to a group. He began by saying, “Public speaking can tap into a viper’s nest of dread with seemingly infinite possibilities for messing up and creating scar-tissue embarrassment in front of a crowd.” More than 50 million people think public speaking is scarier than death.

He offers encouraging advice about how to ease yourself into public speaking if you are one who hates it. I’ll give you some of his tips and many of my own that I have learned and taught.

My job for 22 years was presenting to people all over the country once or twice a month. Before I got to do it, I did a lot of work to overcome anxiety about speaking to a large group, and eventually I came to love it. The reason people fear it so much is they think they will walk up behind a podium and be brain dead—not be able to say a single word. One way to lessen the fear is to write out every word and learn the speech. If you go blank, you could read it. That is not what I recommend, but it’s better than slinking off into the night without saying a word.

Bryant said, “…practice, practice, practice.” In 1987 when I first started as a consultant, I wrote a speech, went to my husband’s office on a Sunday and gave it in front of the video camera, watched it, gave it, watched it, over and over and over until I looked and sounded like I wanted to. After that much practice, I carried the image in my head of my doing it well.

Once you have written out your speech, you have just begun. Research has shown what makes people respond well to you—7% depends on the words you say, 38% depends on the sound of your voice, and 55% depends on what you are doing with your body. If those numbers are hard to accept, smack your hand on a table and yell, “I’m not angry.” See if anyone around believes you.

Words
Research your audience before you go and then read the room when you are there. Give them a style and content they are expecting unless your purpose is to shake them up and disturb them. Older people might not want to hear about the latest social media app. When I used to speak to physicians, I said, “Young physicians might not want to hear how much harder you had it when you were a resident because you were on call every other night.” Don’t bring up religion or politics unless that is your reason for being there or you intend to cause conflict.

Voice
Not too loud and not too soft. Audience members do not want to struggle to hear you or be yelled at. Always use a microphone. You shouldn’t have to waste energy straining to be heard and audience members may have hearing loss that isn’t apparent and they shouldn’t have to disclose. Don’t use verbal fillers—ah, uhm. You’ll find out when you practice in front of a camera if you do that or anything else distracting that needs to be eliminated. Memorization can help you break the habit, so you are not saying “umm” repeatedly as you reach for your next thought.

Pace 
I grew up in Virginia and spent most of my adult life in North Carolina.  To keep the audience from glazing over, I had to pick up my pace when I spoke in New York City and Boston. Younger listeners tend to want a faster pace and older ones want slower. Somewhere in the middle is best for most groups. Changing the pace throughout your talk can wake people up and give everyone a little of what they want. I like the pace of the six o’clock newscasters and my favorite poet David Whyte.

Body
Stand erect. Take up some space. Have your feet about shoulder distance apart and your arms slightly away from your body. Don’t fold your hands in front of your chest. Look and sound more excited than you would if you were talking one on one. Bryant said,“…it’s your energy that people will remember about you long after your talk is done. It’s unlikely that they’ll remember any of the specific words you said.”

Use some gestures but don’t overdo them. I saw someone once who I think had just taken a course on public speaking, and he looked like a sailor waving an ensign in an emergency. Any repetitive motion can make the audience stop listening and start counting how many times you touch your face. Bryant said, “Move around the stage and look at people in different parts of the room, making eye contact with as many of them as you can.”

Wear appropriate clothes—make sure they are comfortable. In one of my earliest talks at my church, I wore a blouse with lace around the neck. On the way home, my husband said, “You did a great job. Can you take a little feedback?” I nodded yes. “You scratched your neck a lot.” I looked in the car mirror and had the claw marks to prove it. I took that blouse off and put it in the give-away bag.

On stage
Bryant said, “Do not apologize. I’ve seen far too many people over the years start off their talks by apologizing for some aspect of the talk they are about to give. They probably are nervous and maybe want to lower expectations. Resist the temptation. Step up and own it."

Don’t scratch any area of your body repeatedly, adjust your hair, or pull at clothing you wished fit you. Don’t sway or jingle keys. Swaying is very comforting to you when you are speaking, but it makes the audience dizzy.

“One of the more unnerving moments of speaking to groups can come when you’re looking at all the people in front of you and they are just sitting there or, even worse, are on their phones…. In any crowd, there are always some head-nodders — people who are engaged and listening intently. Feed off their energy,” said Bryant. Pretend the people looking at their phones are taking notes.

Don’t go over your allotted time. Ever. The shortest inaugural address was 135 words by George Washington. In 1841 William Henry Harrison gave a two-hour, almost 9000-word speech into the teeth of a freezing north east wind. The next day, he came down with a cold. A month later he died of pneumonia. Moral to the story—don’t talk longer than you're scheduled to.

Bryant has a brilliant directive for how to handle a Q&A session after your talk. “…do not say 'great question' to some of the people who raise their hand. The question they just asked you may in fact be great but calling it out signals that all the other questions that came before or after didn’t impress you. Just answer the questions.”

Have a relaxation practice you can tap into quickly if you get nervous.

Right before you go on the stage, do what calms you. Extroverts might need to talk to the friendliest person. I needed a moment alone. On my last trip to the bathroom, I had a ritual—pray, breathe, bread, and Sudafed. I’d ask God to speak through me and say what will help them move through the world easier with purpose. I took a bite of a bagel and teaspoon of children’s liquid Sudafed to pad my stomach and clear my throat. After I washed my hands I reapplied lipstick, looked in the mirror, smiled, and took some deep breaths. It’s hard for me to believe I just shared this, but I’m leaving it in since I believe that you too may need a final ritual to steady yourself before you walk onto the stage.

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