What We're Reading Now

Lessons in Courage (and Other Things) from the Dancing Queen

13 October 2015

Allison read Dani Antol’s new blog, The Big C in My Double Ds, and learned so many important things.

Tags: allison read, courage, grit, self-compassion

My friend, Dani Antol, is someone who lights up a room. She’s glad about her life. She’s glad about your life. She’s the kind of person you could call in the middle of the night, and she would ask no questions other than, “What’s the address?” She also loves to dance, and the dance floor is where she and I have our best times. I call her my dancing queen.

Dani is also a talented graphic designer who has had her work featured in national magazines. She and her business partner, Heather McNulty Haynie, own Rock Papers Scissors, a “custom invitation and paper goods shop with a sweet spot for letterpress located in Charlottesville, Virginia, on the historic downtown walking mall. Frequented by designers and do-it-yourselfers alike, RPS offers a well-curated collection of greeting cards, sophisticated papers, stylish desk accessories, and modern gifts for every day.” Their online store is also delightful.

It’s one of my favorite shops in the world, and they do good community stuff, too. Earlier this year, they decided that each Tuesday of three months out of the year they will donate 10% of the profits directly to a local organization that would help a specific cause. Parkinson's in April, Breast Cancer in October and Pancreatic Cancer in November. One of the reasons they chose Breast Cancer is because of Dani’s extensive family history with the disease. Heather’s daddy died of Pancreatic Cancer. Dani’s daddy and mine are managing Parkinson’s so that one is especially important to me.

And then last month Dani felt a lump in her breast. She just celebrated her 30th birthday. (Her silent disco birthday party on 6 August was all kinds of awesome.) Last week, she had a bilateral mastectomy and is awaiting the final pathology report. The initial biopsy came back negative which is wonderful news, and we’re praying for continued good news next week. After that she’ll learn what’s next in terms of treatment and her reconstructive surgery. I’d guess October's Breast Cancer Awareness month has taken on all new meaning for Dani.

In the midst of it all, Dani started one of the bravest, funniest, and most informative blog sites I've ever read. The Big C in My Double Ds makes me laugh and cry, but most importantly it makes me want to have as much courage, hope, and faith as Dani does. I’m dealing with a few hard and sad things right now. They are all real, and they are all mine, but none of them are cancer.

I often tell my clients, family, and friends that I don’t think the comparison game does us much good. We have to deal with our stuff and worrying about whether or not our stuff is as bad as someone else’s stuff doesn’t help much. At the same time, Dani’s battle is making me want to be braver and grittier about my stuff. She always makes me want to live better so I guess it’s no surprise she’s doing that now, too.

I hope you’ll read her blog. I think you’ll learn a lot and be inspired. I hope you’ll shop RPS in-person or online this month, next month, or next April on Tuesdays so that you can be a part of sending 10% of the profits to local organizations helping survivors with Breast Cancer, Pancreatic Cancer and Parkinson’s. I hope you and yours remember to do regular breast self-exams and sign up for other important preventative screenings. I hope you’ll live life bravely. When you can’t find your courage, I hope you’ll practice self-compassion. And whenever you can, I hope you’ll dance. I know for sure my dancing queen would want you to.

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