What We're Reading Now

Manage Your Relationship with Your Phone

25 January 2022

Allison asked her 16-year-old niece, Kathryn Linney, to write a blog post about how she reconnected with her phone after being phone-free at The Outdoor Academy last semester.

Tags: allison read, kathryn read, mindfulness

My niece, Kathryn, has been blogging for Allison Partners since she was 10 years old. (Her brothers, George IV and William have written for us, too.)

Kathryn’s also an avid reader of our blog, so I knew she’d have important lessons for our readers after her experience at a boarding school created by the summer camp my brother and I started going to in 1986. His three children have also attended Eagle’s Nest Camp and now Kathryn is a graduate of The Outdoor Academy. This is her story...

“I spent four months at a semester school called The Outdoor Academy, located in the southern Appalachians of western North Carolina: Pisgah National Forest. This is a boarding school where students go to classes that are often outside, maybe even in the woods. The school is based on seven principles: stewardship, gratitude, self-reliance, work-ethic, simple living, curiosity, and integrity. It’s an experience to learn about the natural world and to explore yourself and other humans.

Living at OA meant living simply. We learned the value of not relying on unnecessary material resources. This might mean going on a 7-day backpacking trip where everything you carry should be light and comfortably fit in your backpack. There’s also a mental side to simple living. We would often explore the topic of how we can exist in a community as more genuine and natural human beings.

view from the Blude Ridge Parkway

One of the ways we did this was by leaving our phones and electronics behind. This meant no phones, email, or social media. All schoolwork was done on paper. The initial thought of a lifestyle like this might be scary to some, because it is unfamiliar; we live in a world where everything revolves around the tiny screens we carry in our pockets.

For me, living in this type of community was great. At times it was inconvenient because you couldn’t send someone a text, you had to actually go speak with them which is surprisingly harder than it seems when you have to do it 24/7. For the most part, I loved it. People were nicer to each other because when they had feedback to give, they would usually tell you in a constructive way rather than being impatient and hiding behind a screen to tell you. I also got a break from social media, so that stress of comparison was completely eliminated.

The Outdoor Academy Students Fall 2021

When I came home, I was concerned about having my phone again. It was so easy to fall back into the same patterns that I had before because they felt familiar. Every time I would pick up my phone, I was unhappy. Even though I could take time away from my phone to go outside or do something productive, it didn’t really help because everyone else had theirs. It’s the atmosphere created by the screens we stare at all day that make you feel unmotivated.

When I was at OA, no one had phones, not even teachers, so the atmosphere of no phones was created. It was like a breath of fresh air. Real people to talk to instead of texting. So, when I came home, I didn’t know what to do because I was back in a world where our lives were centered around phones.

Eventually I realized that a little moderation and more balance was what I needed. I spent about a month trying to find a good balance for me. I tried everything. I monitored my screen time and thought of random things to do to pass the time, but nothing worked. Phones have been programmed to entice humans on a physiological level which makes it so hard for us to resist picking up our phones—they are an instant cure for boredom. Why are we so afraid of boredom? For some of us, that is a skill we need to practice. Phones cause us to never feel like we have to sit with ourselves in silence or be alone.

Finally, I set some ground rules for myself. On Saturdays, I give my phone to my dad. I don’t see it for an entire day and night, so I am forced to find other things to do. I have an Apple Watch so that if I leave the house, I can contact my parents for safety reasons which means I don’t need my actual phone with me. Although it is not a fast from all technology (because I need to be able to do my homework), I am changing my relationship with my phone which is the most important thing for me.” – Kathryn Linney

How could you better manage your relationship with your phone and other devices? Here are some other ideas on how to unplug. Leave a comment below to let Kathryn know what you’re going to try.

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