What We're Reading Now
The Boring Discipline of Self-Care
24 July 2018
Allison read Self-Care Is Not An Indulgence. It's A Discipline. by Tami Forman in Forbes and appreciated the author’s assertion that we need to do some boring, regimented things if we really want to be our best selves.
Tags: allison read, balance, diversity, email, mindfulness, sleep, vacation
When I teach our Choosing Balance and Leadership course, I try to help participants use the word self-care instead of selfish. If they’ve flown before, I remind them that it’s important to put on their oxygen masks before helping others. This is often a difficult mental shift for them to make especially if they’ve spent many years taking care of others before themselves.
So, I like the concept of self-care, but I also appreciate Tami Forman’s argument in Forbes that many of us may be approaching the concept in a backward way. She asserts that self-care has been marketed mostly to upper class white women as something having to do with fancy sheets, bubble baths, and decadent trips to spas where we take a break from taking care of everyone else (but not too long of a break because, well, they need us).
Instead, Forman suggests that it’s time to think of self-care as something that, “requires tough-mindedness, a deep and personal understanding of your priorities, and a respect for both yourself and the people you choose to spend your life with.” She believes that if you’re doing self-care right, the list of things you prioritize is probably pretty boring—putting sleep first so stopping your Netflix binge earlier in the night, saying no, making wise financial choices, drinking a bit less, etc.
This afternoon, I’m teaching a 30-minute course on Techniques of Stress Management for the Chamber Business Diversity Council. I’ve picked these topics to cover:
- breathe
- sleep
- begin your day mindfully (Also known as don’t check email or social media the minute you get out of bed.)
- manage your email and to dos
- vacation better (You should actually disconnect. Your brain, friends, and family will thank you.)
- have difficult conversations with others (If your life is feeling stressful and out of balance, you need to talk to the people who’ve gotten used to the service level you provide before you make big changes.)
I like to think Forman would approve of this list as all the items require more discipline than money. What boring, disciplined self-care behavior should you be practicing?
p.s. I'll be teaching our Choosing Balance and Leadership Course on Wednesday 3 October 2018 in Charlottesville, VA. Please contact me if you're interested in attending.
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