What We're Reading Now
Who Encourages You?
21 October 2014
Allison watched the #kidpresident pep talk her friend Brooke Jenkins sent her and remembered the importance of gratitude and encouragement in the happiness matters equation.
Tags: allison read, allison watched, brene brown, gratitude, happiness, self-compassion
We like being at happy at Allison Partners. (Who doesn't?) We were even more delighted when years ago all the research started pointing to the fact that happiness actually matters when it comes to workplace performance.
And the good news is that there’s a whole lot you can to do to get happy even when things in your life aren’t going the way you want them to. You’ll still need to let yourself feel the sad and go through the grieving process in healthy ways when you suffer a loss, but as you’re figuring out how to get your feet back under you, there are actual steps you can take to get happier.
When you’ve been sad or are dealing with something really difficult that’s out of your control, the idea of taking steps to get happier can seem pretty overwhelming and almost unfair. You may need to start with some of the smaller steps when it comes to helping yourself choose happiness. The two that come to mind for me today are expressing gratitude about anything or anyone that’s good in your life and surrounding yourself with people who encourage you.
When it comes to gratitude, a lot of the research shows us that writing down what makes you grateful is an important part of the process. Some people suggest writing down three things every night before you go to bed. I like to make a list in my morning pages at the beginning of the day. No matter how horrible things may be in my life, I am always grateful for the view into the woods behind my house, my family, Wonder Dog Joey (who by some kind of miracle still acts and looks like a puppy at 14), my faith, and the fact that my best friend is also my vice president. Sometimes these are the only things I feel grateful for, but listing them over and over again can eventually help me to remember other things for which I’m thankful even in the worst of times.
When you feel the anxiety building or the dialogue in your head gets dark, try to switch over to grateful thoughts. Express your gratitude to others verbally and in writing. Eventually, these things can help you get closer to your own happiness again.
The other step you need to take is to surround yourself with people who encourage you and who expect you to eventually do what you can to start taking steps toward your happiness. This doesn’t mean they expect you to be okay right away. The best encouragers are actually quite empathetic in the way that Brené Brown explains so beautifully in this short animation.
The people you want on your “happiness board” are compassionate with you when you’re in pain and yet also gently help you to touch the edges of laughter and gratitude as you go through your grieving process. They ask you how they can help, they sit quietly with you, and they encourage you seek the help you need from others.
One of the things that makes me especially grateful is that I have a lot of people in my life who are able to do this for me. Today I’m pausing to thank my dear friend, Brooke Jenkins. Brooke encourages people in absolutely every walk of her life. Anyone who has ever had any kind of interaction with Brooke has gotten a great thank you note from her. It’s one of the many ways she expresses her gratitude and encourages people.
The research shows it’s no surprise that Brooke is especially happy in her life. Cynics might argue that she’s hardwired that way, but if you learned more about her acts of gratitude and encouragement, and other daily practices you’d see that these are all things you can do, too, if you want to be happier.
Recently, Brooke sent me this #kidpresident pep talk.
There are many Kid President videos to choose from, but I know Brooke picked this one just for me. Who encourages you and when’s the last time you thanked them?
p.s. If you’d like to learn more about why happiness is important to workplace performance and how to get happier, Rachel will be teaching her Happiness Matters course at the Petersburg Chamber of Commerce on 19 November 2014. Let us know if you’d like to be our guest. If you can’t make it to Petersburg, this post will give you a taste of what she teaches.
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